The choices we make
by Hay389
Summary: A one time thing from 4x07 where Sarah is battling the decision to jump off the bridge or not.


**Author's Note: Hello everyone! I just wanted to do a one time thing version of the scene where Sarah is deciding if she should jump or not. It will pretty much be the same thing but my version. Enjoy!**

She never imagined she would go out this way. Who does? How did she even end up here? One minute she's at a bar drinking her sorrows away, a guys place, and now on a bridge about to jump onto train tracks. It's like Beth all over again. Her life just didn't seem to make sense anymore. It's her fault though. She caused Kendall's death. Look where it brought her, to her own death. Well, not quite yet. Maybe jumping would be the best thing. No one would miss her. Maybe Kara if she was that lucky, but she abandoned her at one point. What kind of mom does that to her child? As much as she didn't want to abandon Kara again, she just wanted to stop causing pain to everyone. Mrs. S wouldn't miss her. Like she said, Sarah would always be just an orphan to her. Oh and Felix, he has his sister. Not by adoption, biological. Real family. He always wanted that and she's glad that he found it.

Sarah's hands squeezed the cold railing tighter. It made her glossy pink glow turn white. It looked like a forty feet jump. She could handle this.

"What if you mess this up too?" Beth chimed in, which was enough to make Sarah back off for a moment.

"I can do it. I can make this right."

"Sure. Say you do, then what? You unite us Sarah but who will reunite all of our other sisters?"

"Just leave me alone! I never asked for any of this."

"None of us did but it still happened. You can't change the past."

At this point Sarah wished she could.

"Leave and go home. Be the glue that you are. You hold everyone up. Good times and bad."

"Just go! Leave me alone! Everyone else already has!"

"That's not true Sarah and in the back of your mind you know it."

Sarah laughed.

"Look at me. I'm talking to a dead person."

"Maybe, but you needed to hear everything I'm telling you."

"Why won't you just leave me alone Beth?"

"Because you don't have to make the same mistake I did. I had to jump, you don't have to."

"You didn't have to jump, you just decided to take the easy way out. Just go already!"

"And what are you doing right now Sarah?"

"Leave!"

A guy was walking close by then and could see Sarah. He rushed passed her because she was shouting at nothing but air. This went noticed by Sarah.

"What are you looking at?!"

The guy basically ran after that. Beth reappeared.

"Please Sarah, just go home and be with your family. They need you."

"No they don't!"

Sarah threw her beer bottle at Beth, which did nothing. A headache started to form in her head. That's when she regretted throwing the bottle. There was still some left. It would get rid of the headache for at least a little while. She'd be able to feel the cold liquid burn down her throat, but now even that was gone.

Sarah stepped close again to the railing and grabbed on. 5 minutes from now she'll be standing with Beth, most likely regretting her decision but knowing it was for the right reason. Her eyes slammed shut. She wanted to be able to feel the crisp night air one last time. It gushed in her face and left through her hair.

3 minutes.

Beth was still standing there. It pissed the hell out of Sarah that she wasn't leaving.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I think you made that pretty clear."

Sarah closed her eyes again. She didn't want her last sight to be Beth standing over her, witnessing both Sarah's death and hers over again.

1 minute.

1 minute before all the pain would leave forever. She'll finally be free. Until she heard a familiar voice call out behind her, luckily not Beth's this time. Why couldn't Felix just leave this alone? Leave her alone?

"Sarah, get down."

Sarah just stayed silent. She had no clue what to say.

"Come on, don't do this. Think about how much we'll all miss you, especially Kara."

As much as Sarah didn't want to cause Kara anymore pain, this was the exact reason she had to jump. By jumping, everyone she cares about will feel less pain.

"Please Sarah get down!"

Sarah just couldn't do it. She had caused pain but she'd just be causing more. So instead, she ungripped the railing and stepped down. Felix sighed. Sarah took Felix into a big hug.

"Thankgod Sarah. You scared the bloody hell out of me."

"I'm sorry Felix. I just...I didnt mean to..."

"It's fine. Your safe now and that's all that matters. Let's go home."

Sarah nodded and started walking with Felix. The wind was up again and although she had no sight of Beth, Sarah could hear the faint whispered words of...

"Unite us all."

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this. Let me know if you want to see anything else involving orphan black.**


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